folieadude:

I have a lot of favorite tweets but this is my favorite tweet of all time.

folieadude:

I have a lot of favorite tweets but this is my favorite tweet of all time.

(via swarnpert)


(via swarnpert)


(via swarnpert)


iwilleatyourenglish:

once i went to the movie theater with my friend who wears hijab and while we were sitting down she turned to me and said “people always ask me what i have under here. let me show you” and proceeded to whip out two dorito bags, three hostess cakes, and a pack of gummy worms

(via succeeding)


(via succeeding)


pineplapple:

In New Zealand our drinking age is 18 but the drink driving tolerance for under 20s is zero and my friend who’s a cop said he gets great pleasure out of breathalising sober under 20 year olds and watching the terror fill their face as he tells them they’re 10 times over the legit drinking limit cause ten times zero is still zero

(via succeeding)


(via succeeding)


scoobydoof:

mom, dad, can i have a boy girl party this year for my birthday??? i’m gonna be 35 this year and idk i just think i should be allowed to now. 

(via swarnpert)


(via swarnpert)


landorus:

i wish i was one of u guys. u get the pleasure to follow me and im jealous of that

(via succeeding)


dignitea:

if you’re feeling small

dignitea:

if you’re feeling small

(via official--loser)


monetizeyourcat:

barefootmarley:

scientific fact

how the fuck is this true. there are many people with less than a complete human skeleton. this requires that some people have more bones than an entire skeleton, or perhaps for one person to have hundreds of millions more bones than an entire skeleton. who is he? who is he??

monetizeyourcat:

barefootmarley:

scientific fact

how the fuck is this true. there are many people with less than a complete human skeleton. this requires that some people have more bones than an entire skeleton, or perhaps for one person to have hundreds of millions more bones than an entire skeleton. who is he? who is he??

(via swarnpert)


(via swarnpert)


orangewave:

sagethenate:

orangewave:

i mean really, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid

the little mermaid

fucking christ

(via succeeding)


I should have loved you less.
I should have loved myself more.
(166/365) by (DS)

(via official--loser)